Book the whole weekend full of activities with PEOPLE when there are THINGS that need to be done! GOSH!
Well, I definitely had my hand in planning a few of these as well, so it’s not fair to blame it all on him…it just ended up being a REALLY full weekend, and I had gone into it with at least six hours of work to do (for the record label and some church missions team stuff too).
Friday night we had guests over for dinner, the newest couple in our newlyweds Bible study. Matt is in the FBI and Jocelyn is a school teacher and lacrosse coach. They’re the opposite of Matthew and me – she is the extrovert and he is the introvert. We had a really good time with them, I would say, evidenced by the fact that they didn’t leave till after midnight! I tried a crockpot enchilada recipe, which turned out surprisingly well (crockpot recipes often turn out poorly for me). One small hospitality thing to learn – I had the main dish in the crockpot and the dessert (chocolate cherry cake) made, but I hadn’t taken into account all the side dishes I wanted to have as well, so when they got here, I still had to make the corn with cilantro and tomato, set out the chips and salsa, make the virgin pina colada drinks, and then set the table (Jocelyn brought an awesome salad). Thankfully Matthew entertained them by making special coffee drinks and showing off Bugaboo’s tricks while I finished prepping dinner.
Saturday morning we slept in, then Matthew’s mom and siblings came over for lunch. We needed to have a family meeting and prayer time…the short version is that Matthew’s dad left their family almost three years ago, and just filed for divorce on Monday. We have been praying for reconciliation – and my mother-in-law has been working very hard to try to restore the marriage – and we continue to pray.
Shortly after they left, Matthew’s friend Dan came over for a “porch sit” (sitting on the front porch, drinking coffee and talking). I went to pick up Jody, who has been involved in the college and career group at our church off and on for the past few years. She is legally blind. She will be done with her associates’ degree at the end of this year and wanted to look into colleges, so I told her we could do some online research. Her family situation is a mess, and she’s never really had an advocate to help her, so she’s been pushed around through the system her whole life. I admire her spunk in being the first in her family to go to college and how she has worked hard, a few classes at a time, to get a degree, especially with the added difficulty of the almost non-existent education she got all through school.
The four of us had dinner, then Matthew headed off to jam with another musician and Dan left. Jody and I researched a bunch of schools. After I took her home, I came back and worked an hour or so on transcribing an interview. When Matthew got back, I stayed up with him aimlessly surfing the web for a bit, then went to bed while he was up till at least 3 or 4 a.m. working on a freelance database project for a local Senate candidate.
Sunday morning was church and Sunday school, then doing the social wife thing with Matthew as he talked to everyone and their mom. Matthew asked me to go with him to the birthday party for a young man from church so I could “help him leave earlier” (because he had to go down to work – the computer system crashed over the weekend). Needless to say, we didn’t really end up leaving early.
Matthew had decided to invite over another couple for dinner Sunday night. (Oh, look! An open night on our calendar! IT MUST BE FILLED!!!) Eric and Kristen are the first “couple friends” we made in Rhode Island. Kristen is due with their first baby – also a girl – in about three weeks. But it took Matthew longer at work than he thought, so Eric did the grilling of steaks while we waited for him. We had a good time with them, and a good meal too – steak, shrimp, potatoes, salad – but at about 9:30 I had to excuse myself to get to work. (After the Priestleys left, Matthew then went to hang out with other friends for a game of cribbage.)
So…I was up until 1 a.m. working, slept a few hours, then got up and finished the transcript and outline for the article in order to make the deadline. Ah, all the bad bits of college again, but without the fun roommate.
After I got Matthew off to work this morning, I went back to bed with a wet kitten (he had showered with Matthew) in tow. Bugaboo and I slept for a long time, I got up and checked my email and took a phone call about another freelance job, then Bugaboo and I went back to bed. Matthew got to come home early since he had worked on Sunday, and he joined me for an afternoon nap. He was awoken by the head of the missions team calling about coming over for a porch sit. I invited Brian to stay for dinner. Then the guy who was supposed to come over to jam with Matthew bailed, and I thought, “Oh, a free evening with my husband!” I bet you know where this is going. Shortly, my 16-year-old brother-in-law showed up to inform Matthew that our upstairs neighbor and friend Boomer had planned a Halo party, but had to work a double shift and couldn’t come home, so Matthew needed to go upstairs and host.
I know that people are important. I like people, I really do. In small doses. And as long as I still have time for chores and projects that need to be done. I think that besides being an introvert, I am also very task-oriented. I haven’t ever read anything about “task-oriented” and “people-oriented” as personality traits, but I am conviced that those are two different types of people. I notice every little THING that needs to be done – dishes, laundry, unfinished decorating projects, work deadlines… Matthew notices every PERSON he comes into contact with and his or her needs, and wants to have a relationship with everyone he knows and meet their needs. This has caused more than one argument: “Why don’t you care about PEOPLE?” “Why don’t you do any of the THINGS that need to be done?”
In reality, though, Matthew does work hard to get things done, and I do love people and want relationships. In three years of marriage, we have come to recognize our differences and even admire each others’ strengths, but I think there will always be a push-me-pull-you between us. I think it’s a good thing – hopefully we will balance out the extremes in each other, making an effective team.
- Miller, Miller & Miller Bed and Breakfast
- Hospitality Successes
- Pride and Prejudice Ball After-Action Report